Wednesday, December 8, 2010

December 8, 2010

No big news to report on mom today.  She is doing well but she's cold a lot which is partially the treatments she went through and partially the decrease in her thyroid functioning.  Her eating habits are improving thanks in part to her care-giver (yours truly) checking her plate at the end of each meal to make sure she eats the proteins and veggies.  I know it must bug her when I do that but she thanks me for it each time.

Dad has extensive psychological testing tomorrow afternoon.  He will undergo a series of exams and tests to determine the level of his cognitive abilities.  The results will tell us if he is truly experiencing Alzheimer's or if this is dementia.   Why would we want to know the difference?  Dementia leads to Alzheimer's and either way it's a horrible thing to go through.  But we need to know so we know how to treat it.  And we know how to best care for Dad - that's the most important thing.

I have to be honest with you that it has been hard to write on this blog lately.  One of those reasons is that I really honestly do not want to face Alzheimer's.  I want to wake up tomorrow and have it gone.  I do not want to know what's coming but it is too late because I have done all the reading.  I studied Geriatrics at the University of South Florida and I want this to stay in those text books.  I don't want to see it - hear it - feel it. But above all - I don't want my daddy to have it.  Period.  End of discussion.

I wish it was that easy.  We have no choice.  We have to walk this journey and we have to walk it well, with faith, with love and with hope.

One of my favorite Biblical scenes is also one of my favorite songs from a musical.  The musical is Jesus Christ, Superstar and the song is Gethsemane.  Jesus goes off to the garden of Gethsemane to pray and this song is EXACTLY how I picture Jesus and exactly how I imagine he conversed with his Father.  "I only want to say, if there is a way, take this cup away from, for I don't want to taste it's poison, feel it burn me...I don't care, I'm not as when we started".  If you get a chance check this video out of Steve Balsamo singing this song.  When Andrew Lloyd Weber heard him, he WEPT.

Dad - you are loved and through the power of love we will get through ANYthing that is thrown our way, ok?

No comments: